Dirty Latin, part one

In high school, my favorite class was Latin.  It was definitely one of the toughest -- we moved fast with none of those wishy washy let's-color-the-clothing worksheets a la Spanish or French -- but also the most fun and stimulating class I enjoyed.  Where my English teachers would ignore Shakespeare's bawdy jokes, my Latin teacher would encourage discussion and facilitate understanding of raunchy bits of classicism. 

One of my favorite poets (and my all time favorite Latin poet) is a fellow by the name of Catullus.  (Pronounced cah-TULL-us, for you language geeks like me out there!)  He lived from about 84 to 54 BC and was presumed to have died around the age of thirty.  Here are some more details about him.  His biography isn't important for our purposes; just the fact that he had a tumultous affair with a wealthy man's wife, Clodia, whom he referred to in many more well known poems as "Lesbia." 

Catullus 2 and 3 are what I like to call the "Sparrow" poems... and he's not necessarily talking about a sparrow.  Here's the translation to Catullus 3: "Lugete, O Veneres Cupidinesque", with an assignment I wrote my senior year.  It's not quite a rebuttal to this poem in particular, but parts of it could be read thusly....

Lugete, O Veneres Cupidinesque:

Mourn, O Venuses and Cupids!

And as much of you as love beauty:

My girl's sparrow is dead...

Sparrow, the delight of my girl,

Which she loved more than her own eyes.

For he was honey-sweet and knew

Her as well as the girl her own mother,

Nor did he move himself from her lap,

But hopping now here, now there

He chirped continuously for his mistress alone. 

Now he goes through the dark journey

From where they deny any return. 

But curse upon you!  Cursed darkness of

Pluto, swallowing all beautiful things:

You have taken my beautiful sparrow. 

O wretched deed! O miserable sparrow!

It's your fault my girl's little eyes

Are swollen and red from weeping. 

Lesbia's Reply: (click the link to view it larger; I couldn't get the fonts to work out correctly to place it strictly in blogger)  I have to warn you that I'm never this mean and nasty! I was trying to channel Lesbia when I was writing it :-)  I know many men suffer from ED and it's not a pleasant thing.

Lesbia's Reply

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The photo I found here via Tumblr!