Showing Love in the Shower

Hey everyone!  Today's post is a guest post from my friend S.  Evidently he read yesterday's post and was inspired :-)  I hope you all enjoy; I'm sure he'd love to hear from you in the comments section!

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Let’s all be honest, showers are quite possibly the most sensual things we do alone. Even if you’re just hopping in for a quick five-minute cleanup, you still feel a rush of sensual pleasure when the warm water hits your bare skin. How often has the pleasure of the warm water turned your idea of a five-minute utilitarian washing into a half-hour or more time of just standing there and letting the water run over you? It’s happened to me more times than I’d care to admit. There’s something very soothing about sticking your head under the water and placing your hands over your ears, only listening to the sound of the water rushing joyfully over your head. You’re reading this because it’s on a sex blog, so why keep such a sensual event to yourself? Why not take some extra time to make this already pleasurable time even more special for your partner?

A good shower for yourself and your partner, like good sex, needs to begin before you’ve got the water running. You need to know what exactly your partner does to clean him or herself in the shower, and what soaps or shampoos they use. You should make sure to have towels laid out for both of you, and candles can’t hurt either.

Once you’ve got all of the things you’ll need for the shower ready, the first step is to get rid of the clothing. Don’t just rip all of the clothing off and say “Ok, let’s go!”; you want to make this a more sensual and very memorable experience for your partner, and unless your partner is a quadriplegic, they can typically do that by themselves. Start slowly, deliberately, taking the time to massage and kiss every inch of the skin under each piece of clothing you remove. Make the undressing last longer than you thought possible, the longer the better, as taking longer (within reason of course) will result in building anticipation. After both of you are naked, do something your partner doesn’t expect: if you’re a man, pick her up and carry her to the shower, and if you’re a woman, tell him to close his eyes and trust you to lead him there.

The next important step is getting the water running at the proper temperature that you will both enjoy. The best way to do this is to start it running and get it warm but not hot. You can take some extra time while the water is running to massage your partner some more. Once the water is warm and you’re confident that it won’t get any warmer unless adjusted, help your partner into the shower (especially if their eyes are still closed, which in the interest of not getting soap in the eyes isn’t a bad idea). Ask them if they would like the water any warmer, and if so, adjust it SLOWLY until they say that the temperature is right.

Once you’re both in the shower with the water running, get whatever soap they usually use, and lather them up, massaging the lather into their skin as you do. You can invite them to let their hands wander over your body while you’re washing them. Make sure to be as careful when you’re lathering up your partner as you would be on yourself: take care around wounds and other sensitive areas. Tease them occasionally, but not too much; the sensation of this will be multiplied if they have their eyes closed. Wash every inch of their body, even areas you would normally shy from (feet are a big one that’s usually avoided by many couples because they’re dirty, but honestly, right now you’re in the shower using soap!), giving more care to their bodies than they would give to themselves.

When their body is clean, then it’s on to the hair. Take extra time to massage your partner’s shampoo into their scalp, as this area has more nerve endings than most other places on the body, and has the potential to feel amazing if you do it properly. Massage your partner’s head lightly, and take extra care around the temples, making sure the pressure you apply on them is nearly nonexistent. Also be careful with the hair; while running your fingers through your partner’s hair can be a pleasing experience for both of you, running your fingers through knots or tangles in their hair is anything but, and can ruin the mood quite quickly.

Now that your partner is quite clean, it’s time to hop out, right? Not quite! You haven’t been washed yet yourself! There are two major ways to accomplish this: you can either invite your partner to bathe you, or you can have them watch while you make a sensual show of doing it yourself. No matter how you accomplish it, you’re both clean and ready to get out of the shower. This is a good time to have your partner open their eyes, as wet things tend to be slippery and we don’t want them slipping and falling on their way out of the shower!

Drying is yet another chance to massage your partner and run your hands all over their body. Again, take your time with this part. Once you’ve dried yourselves off, your partner might just want to do some things with you that would make you both need another shower! Whether you use your shared shower as a type of foreplay or not, your partner will feel how much you care for them through it, and they will appreciate the care you’ve shown to them.

• I didn’t mention this in the article itself because I would have had to retype it in every paragraph if I did. The single most important thing to remember is to communicate through the entire event, about what’s going on (this is a time for relaxation together, not a “so how was your day?” time). Ask your partner how what your doing feels, tell them how they look, describe to them the naughty things you want to do with them after they’re clean, etc. This doesn’t need to be constant chatter like you’re reading a book, but it shouldn’t be quiet either.
• Use your imagination! You know your partner better than I do, and chances are you know of things that you could add or should subtract from your shower time to make them appreciate it more. This is a gift from you to them, not from me to them, so personalize it.

PS.  I'm not sure who to attribute the photo to.  If it's yours, and you want it taken down, let me know!

How to Spank My Bottom

or, Spanking Tips for Beginners

Although many of these tips may also be applicable to discipline type spankings, this list is more of a how to guide for the novice spanker and spankee who want to use a spanking session as a pleasurable accessory to their other bedroom activities.

1. Make sure that both of you are okay with a little spanking. This can be done in several ways. The most direct way is, of course, to ask. However, if you're shy or unsure, you don't always have to be so blunt about it. When you're sitting on the couch and she needs to get up for something, try a little slap on the ass to see how she responds. If she's grinning, chances are she likes it. You can feel her out for a few days this way by watching her reactions to see how she responds.

2. Next up, where is the spanking going to take place? If you're both newbies to it, try to make sure that the spanking takes place during something or somewhere that you're both already comfortable being at. My personal favorite spanking position is over his knees, on the couch. This way, my entire body is supported, and you can include things like pillows under her head. Also, especially if she's a little unsure, she can feel the connection to your body which will be reassuring. One of the big things that you need to keep in mind is confidence. If you project confidence even when you don't feel it, she is more likely to relax. This means her muscles won't be so tense and both of you will enjoy the session a lot more.

3. When you start to spank, choose which hand you're going to use first and make sure that it has free range of movement. You don't want to hit the wrong place or hit your hand on something else when you bring it up in the air. Also, keep your hand straight and flat, and don't think that you have to raise it too high in order to make an impact.

4. Start off slow. There is definitely a difference between spanking and hitting, and a pleasure spanking isn't about inflicting pain. Spank her lightly at first, and spread it out. Don't keep striking the same place every time – remember, you have two cheeks to cover, and that can be a pretty big space! One important thing to remember is to only spank one ass cheek at a time, though – bringing your hand down on both can hurt both you and your woman. As for the area to strike, make sure you focus on the meaty area of her buttocks. Too high and you hit the tailbone – possibly causing permanent damage. Don't do that. Too low and you hit the thighs, and while advanced spankers can definitely work this area a little bit, for the beginner, it's best to focus on the area that gets you the most bang for your buck and heals quickly. After each or every few strikes, massage her buttocks for a few seconds to smooth out the sting. This has the added benefit of reassuring her that you're being careful and caring and not some maniac who likes to hit women.

5. Watch for her reactions. I understand that you may not always be able to see her face, but you will be able to see other parts of her body as well as hear her reactions. If she's moaning or whimpering in pleasure, you're doing a good job. If she's crying or screaming in pain or starts to make comments about how rough it is, you probably need to either slow down or back off entirely. One way to make this process easier is to use safe words, such as asking her to say, “yellow” when she needs you to slow down or “red” when she needs you to cease and desist immediately. Safe words don't take the place of good observational skills, but they can be another tool to help you out.

6. Understand that every couple and every individual is different. It's okay to explore the world of spanking over a long period of time and get used to the dynamics as you go.

7. After the spanking, do something loving. I really cannot emphasize this enough. Yes, frequently this  will involve sex or sexual activities, but it doesn't always have to. Cuddling, kissing, and reassuring words can also go a long way to reinforcing the bond between you and your partner.  A better bond equals better sex and better life in general.  Take the time to be caring. 

More Tips:

* While many people automatically think of bare bottoms when they think of spanking, you can certainly try it for the first time or two while clothed. Just make it something not too thick, with nothing in the clothing that will dig into the skin and cause harm.

* As the spanker, you are in charge of your spankee for the duration of the session. If you keep to a repeated pattern of strokes, she may start to anticipate it. By changing it up throughout the session, you not only keep it fresh but remind her that you're in control.

* Try pausing in the middle of the spanking to tease her. After taking a moment to rub her buttocks and possibly her thighs, dip your hand or a few fingers between her legs and tease her pussy for a moment before resuming strikes.

* Talking to her while you're spanking can definitely make the experience more erotic and enjoyable. Teasing her by giving her details about how beautiful she looks across your lap with her red bottom and what you want to do with her when you've finished spanking can heighten her sensitivity and awareness even more. And remember, the more turned on your woman is, the better the sex between you will be!

{Picture above found here via Flickr}

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