Wednesday, November 10, 2010

How to Spank My Bottom

or, Spanking Tips for Beginners

Although many of these tips may also be applicable to discipline type spankings, this list is more of a how to guide for the novice spanker and spankee who want to use a spanking session as a pleasurable accessory to their other bedroom activities.

1. Make sure that both of you are okay with a little spanking. This can be done in several ways. The most direct way is, of course, to ask. However, if you're shy or unsure, you don't always have to be so blunt about it. When you're sitting on the couch and she needs to get up for something, try a little slap on the ass to see how she responds. If she's grinning, chances are she likes it. You can feel her out for a few days this way by watching her reactions to see how she responds.

2. Next up, where is the spanking going to take place? If you're both newbies to it, try to make sure that the spanking takes place during something or somewhere that you're both already comfortable being at. My personal favorite spanking position is over his knees, on the couch. This way, my entire body is supported, and you can include things like pillows under her head. Also, especially if she's a little unsure, she can feel the connection to your body which will be reassuring. One of the big things that you need to keep in mind is confidence. If you project confidence even when you don't feel it, she is more likely to relax. This means her muscles won't be so tense and both of you will enjoy the session a lot more.

3. When you start to spank, choose which hand you're going to use first and make sure that it has free range of movement. You don't want to hit the wrong place or hit your hand on something else when you bring it up in the air. Also, keep your hand straight and flat, and don't think that you have to raise it too high in order to make an impact.

4. Start off slow. There is definitely a difference between spanking and hitting, and a pleasure spanking isn't about inflicting pain. Spank her lightly at first, and spread it out. Don't keep striking the same place every time – remember, you have two cheeks to cover, and that can be a pretty big space! One important thing to remember is to only spank one ass cheek at a time, though – bringing your hand down on both can hurt both you and your woman. As for the area to strike, make sure you focus on the meaty area of her buttocks. Too high and you hit the tailbone – possibly causing permanent damage. Don't do that. Too low and you hit the thighs, and while advanced spankers can definitely work this area a little bit, for the beginner, it's best to focus on the area that gets you the most bang for your buck and heals quickly. After each or every few strikes, massage her buttocks for a few seconds to smooth out the sting. This has the added benefit of reassuring her that you're being careful and caring and not some maniac who likes to hit women.

5. Watch for her reactions. I understand that you may not always be able to see her face, but you will be able to see other parts of her body as well as hear her reactions. If she's moaning or whimpering in pleasure, you're doing a good job. If she's crying or screaming in pain or starts to make comments about how rough it is, you probably need to either slow down or back off entirely. One way to make this process easier is to use safe words, such as asking her to say, “yellow” when she needs you to slow down or “red” when she needs you to cease and desist immediately. Safe words don't take the place of good observational skills, but they can be another tool to help you out.

6. Understand that every couple and every individual is different. It's okay to explore the world of spanking over a long period of time and get used to the dynamics as you go.

7. After the spanking, do something loving. I really cannot emphasize this enough. Yes, frequently this  will involve sex or sexual activities, but it doesn't always have to. Cuddling, kissing, and reassuring words can also go a long way to reinforcing the bond between you and your partner.  A better bond equals better sex and better life in general.  Take the time to be caring. 

More Tips:

* While many people automatically think of bare bottoms when they think of spanking, you can certainly try it for the first time or two while clothed. Just make it something not too thick, with nothing in the clothing that will dig into the skin and cause harm.

* As the spanker, you are in charge of your spankee for the duration of the session. If you keep to a repeated pattern of strokes, she may start to anticipate it. By changing it up throughout the session, you not only keep it fresh but remind her that you're in control.

* Try pausing in the middle of the spanking to tease her. After taking a moment to rub her buttocks and possibly her thighs, dip your hand or a few fingers between her legs and tease her pussy for a moment before resuming strikes.

* Talking to her while you're spanking can definitely make the experience more erotic and enjoyable. Teasing her by giving her details about how beautiful she looks across your lap with her red bottom and what you want to do with her when you've finished spanking can heighten her sensitivity and awareness even more. And remember, the more turned on your woman is, the better the sex between you will be!

{Picture above found here via Flickr}

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Blogger Dioneo said...

Impactful advice, Ida! I especially agree with the part about talking. It's as much about spanking the mind as the bottom.

November 11, 2010 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Ida Virgin said...

Most definitely! I'm going to have to write some posts about communication, lol. I'm such a verbal person anyway... if my partner won't talk at all, it makes me feel awkward and that just isn't sexy.

November 11, 2010 at 9:51 PM  

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