Psychology and a Submissive Female

Today I had either my final or second to last session with my current counselor.  While I don't deny that she has been helpful to an extent, I think I will best serve myself by switching shrinks when classes resume in January.  The reason? Her obvious disapproval with my lifestyle choices.  If I wanted to feel withdrawal and anger from someone I chose to confide in, I have several female relatives who would fit the bill.  (Not only do I plan to switch counselors, but I'd rather switch to a male one -- I'm rather more at ease around men in general.)

I give you this introduction because I've been thinking (off and on) for the last few months about submission and psychology.  This close to exams, my thoughts are in a bit of a jumble, so I'll give you some bulleted points instead :-)

* While bondage and the like in the bedroom still has a definite stigma to it, it is becoming a bit more mainstream in the media/daily life.  I've talked in general terms with several different people who had no real thoughts on it one way or the other and certainly weren't horrified by it.  If I had changed the conversation to talk about submission in relationships in general, I can guarantee some of those people would have flipped their lid. 

* I remember the author of the blog Persephone in Love (she's made her blog private a few months back) writing about BDSM as self therapy.  I believe she said something about how we each have our certain issues and how we deal with them can be either helpful or harmful.  I think the example she used was a couple who had control issues expressed through money issues, which led to fights, secrecy, and generally unhealthy behavior, but it was... socially acceptable unhealthy behavior.  She then talked about having those same control issues but dealing with them through D/s in order to turn them into pleasurable experiences which didn't allow the psychological bullshit to negatively impact daily life.  I wish I had a copy of the essay she wrote on the topic. 

* I can't find hardly anything in the academic psychological sphere about D/s (or DD, or any other "unbalanced power sort of" relationships.  What I've found is negative in view and I think is more predisposed to talking about submissive males (I don't have a problem with this but I'm more interested in learning about sexual and traditional gender roles where the female is the submissive one and the male is the dominant one).  Does anyone else have any resources to point me to?  I believe my aunt told me that all of "this stuff" is still classified under Abnormal Psychology. 

*  From an evolutionary standpoint, traditional gender roles make sense to me.  Men and women typically (but not always, of course) have different skill sets which lend to the idea of women being the "weaker sex".  However, I also think that women are quite powerful.  (I love reveling in my womanhood, personally... and when I take the time to do so I personally feel more powerful *shrug*) In fact, just as I often think it takes a strong man to let himself cry when necessary and appropriate, I think it takes a strong woman to willingly submit to another but not subdue her own sense of self and worth. 

* As well, I also think that whether you are a man or a woman, for you to know yourself and allow yourself to fully experience your own desires and needs signifies a certain kind of strength.  I mean, as long as your desires aren't doing bad things to children or anything like that.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that allowing yourself to fully live, with all of what that means within and without of the sexual arena is a good thing.  (Although I certainly have fantasies that I would never act on...  I also have those that I do which aid me in knowing myself, healing, and giving me pleasure.)

Just a few thoughts that have been jumbling through my head recently.  I'm sure I have more, but this is quite enough for now :-)  I'd love to have a conversation going in the comments about all of this!

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